seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
