That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Acid is not a monday night drug
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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