Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I have feelings that need drinking.
Randomize
