so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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