is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
