He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
