He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I think i got beer on your cat.
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