You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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