It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
