I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
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