life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
