"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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