did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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