anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
