Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
A bitchslap is in order.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
