mondays should just be called national damage control day
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
