Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
im six kinds of drunk right now
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
