Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I need to sanitize my soul.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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