There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
