Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
i dont even know how to be here
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
