the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
