nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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