I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
