happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Randomize
