I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
