Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I would fuck him just for his dog
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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