Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
