I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
