dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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