I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
