i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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