are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
My vagina is officially offended.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
