If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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