What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
