Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
