i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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