how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
