Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
