Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
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