Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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