C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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