I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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