We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
