i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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