shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
