Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Oh god it's open bar.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
