Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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