my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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