Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
