She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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