help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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